Key takeaways:
- Although talking about mental health can be daunting, there are tools that can help parents and caregivers guide the conversation.
- Asking about self-harm and suicidal ideation does not plant the idea in someone’s head. It can be a life-saving question and can, in fact, encourage help-seeking.
Many of us are concerned about the mental health of children and teens. Social media and other technologies, lack of social connection, and discrimination take a toll on kids’ mental health.1 2 As a result, it is important for parents and caregivers to create and maintain open lines of communication with their children.3 That can be a daunting task and we may not know where to begin. So, how do we talk to our kids about mental health? How can we make sure to emphasize the difference between mental health and mental illness when having these conversations?
The Mental Health Literacy Pyramid
Everyone can experience good mental health, mental distress, and mental health problems, but that does not mean everyone will necessarily develop a mental illness. Also, someone who has a diagnosable mental illness can have excellent mental health if they have strong coping skills, social support, and access to treatment.
The Mental Health Literacy Pyramid can be a helpful framework for differentiating states of mental health.
The Pyramid can be a starting point for a conversation with your child to figure out together where they are with their mental health.
What if I’m concerned?
If your child is saying things or behaving in ways that make you worried about their mental health (expressing that they feel hopeless or worthless; exhibiting mood changes; having panic attacks, unexplained stomachaches or headaches, among other signs), it’s important to discuss your concerns openly. You might use the following prompts to frame the conversation:
What if I think my child may be suicidal?
Risk factors to suicide are multi-faceted and complex. It is strongly linked with mental illnesses (diagnosed or undiagnosed). It can be thought out in advance or occur impulsively when people are overwhelmed and feel hopeless or that they lack the support they need (this can be the case even if they have a strong support system in place).
If you are at all concerned about your child’s mental health, ask them directly, “Are you feeling suicidal?” There is a common misconception that asking about someone about suicidal ideation may plant the idea in their head. Evidence shows that that is not the case, and in fact can help people feel understood and seek treatment.4 If your child says yes or your concerns remain, call 988.
The bottom line
It is important to open up conversations about potentially difficult topics like mental health and mental illness with children and teens. MHC has programs that can empower parents and caregivers to help their children obtain and maintain mental health and resilience.
If you or a loved one are struggling, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Call or text the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 988 or 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System (YRBSS). (2024, 29 September). 2023 Youth Risk Behavior Survey Results. https://www.cdc.gov/yrbs/results/2023-yrbs-results.html#cdc_data_surveillance_section_2-youth-mental-health ↩︎
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: Adolescent and School Health. (2024, 29 November). Youth mental health: The numbers. https://www.cdc.gov/healthy-youth/mental-health/mental-health-numbers.html#cdc_generic_section_2-connection-can-help ↩︎
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: Adolescent and School Health. (2024, 29 November). Mental health. https://www.cdc.gov/healthy-youth/mental-health/index.html ↩︎
- Dazzi, T., Gribble, R., Wessely, S., & Fear, N. T. (2014). Does asking about suicide and related behaviours induce suicidal ideation? What is the evidence?. Psychological medicine, 44(16), 3361-3363. ↩︎